Being Adopted Really Does fuel Rejection!

Updated: May 2

This is Me - I'm Adopted my struggle with rejection


Rejection talk from an Adoptee


How do you see yourself? in my opinion, I am fundamentally flawed by my adoptee status. That's a big statement I hear you think to yourself. Agreed it certainly is a big statement. I am an older adoptee. I'm 56 not too old but certainly older. My Adoption was at 8 months old. I had been in 2 foster homes before finding my place within my adoptive family. My upbringing was a good stable environment. The only thing not stable in my family was me. I struggled greatly coming to terms with being different, chosen, special and adopted. I still don't warm to being told I am special, to me that's another word for your going to reject me. My parents had two children of their own I was bang slap in the middle of them. I am also an adopter, well Special Guardianshiper to be precise. All through my life, I yearned to have children. It soon became apparent that this was not going to happen naturally. I never wanted to adopt knowing the pain and fear it had caused me on the inside.


Rejection in the adoptee is 1000 times magnified or 1,000,000 times magnified - Who knows? Let's just say without a shadow of a doubt it's hugely magnified.


I have started this blog to share some of the ups and downs of life as an adoptee and an adopter. My own experience as an adoptee has taken me to a place where I have written my own story over two books. My books also talk about my faith and how that has helped me. With the purpose of reaching out to people in the same position as myself to encourage and inspire them to move beyond the rejection, move over the abandonment move out of angry mode and become everything you are meant to be. Being adopted is not easy on the adoptee. Over the past five years as I have researched and spoken to literally thousands of adoptees so many of us have had extreme internal difficulties with our emotional well being. Struggling to fit in at work, in groups, in relationships. I personally found starting to parent at 50 extremely difficult. I will be sharing lots of those moments. #adoption #adoptee #fionamylesauthor #parenting #specialguardianship #adoptiontrauma



We Can Move On


For years I wallowed in rejection, the fear of rejection the pain of rejection and the anger that built up from rejection. It was like being in quicksand that I just could not drag myself out of. But instead of it being quicksand it was slowsand........... Slowly eating me up, slowly ruining everything that I wanted to achieve. I am now in a position to share some of the ways that I deal with myself when I feel the dripping tap of rejection starting. Over the years when that drip has become a flow or even a Tsunami it has caused me to move into self-destruction mode.


It's Time to Talk About it.


Each week on a Monday I will be writing about my struggles both past and present. Feelings, emotions and more and even trying to work at alleviating some of the overriding stuff we struggle to get past. For years in my workplaces and relationships, I worked out that managers, bosses, friends and partners had little or no understanding of the adoptee and just didn't know how to work with me. So yet again I was pushed to the bottom of the pile. Deemed difficult to work with. We need to start looking at strategies to help adoptees in all areas of their lives. As we had little help from any organisations and neither did most of our parents.


I will aim to use humour alongside talking about how I talk to myself when the dripping tap of rejection starts.

What's Next?

So here we are embarking on a journey together. Join me in my ramblings/ musings of an older adoptee and an older parent to a child on an SGO There is so much that I want to share with you. Some weeks it may be funny stories. I write poetry too and some weeks it may be the more serious side of adoptee struggles. Adoptees have really struggled to have a voice, especially in the area of help for trauma and counselling. Far too little out there that is specifically aimed at us adoptees. So if I can help someone just to know that what they are feeling is perfectly normal and that they can work through some stuff, then mission accomplished.


I have a Facebook group called This is Me - I'm Adopted so if you are over 35 and adopted come along and join us. We can share openly about our struggles there.


https://www.facebook.com/groups/234239138213461


Hit the link its a private and small group





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